Category: Mindset

    5 Tools for Boosting Inner Strength

    There’s hardly a person alive who would tell you that life is anything but busy – and sometimes tough. You can be pulled in so many directions at once it can be easy to get stretched thin.

    No matter how old you are, you’ll encounter trying situations at home, at work, among your friends and family and even with strangers. Everything you go through taps into your inner strength and can drain it little by little.

    You can’t do anything about what you experience simply because it’s part of life. But what you can do is to find ways to boost your inner strength so that you have the calm that you need to deal with whatever comes your way.

    There are several tools that you can use to help boost your ability from an internal mindset perspective – so that regardless of what you face, you can have a life of calm.

    Exercise to Gain Inner Strength

    One of the easiest tools that you have at your disposal to use when you need to boost your mental strength is physical exercise. Exercise does so much more than give your muscles strength and help keep your weight under control.

    Exercise is necessary to strengthen you emotionally – and one of the reasons for this is because it can calm stress. It’s a well known fact that stress is one of the leading causes for turmoil, loss of peace and mentally draining.

    When you experience a loss of inner strength, you’ll feel tired, mentally sluggish and unable to concentrate. What’s going on is that the things you’re dealing with in life (even if they’re not necessarily horrible things) are chipping away at your inner strength.

    What you go through in life will hit you internally long before it hits you outwardly. In other words, you’ll feel the stress first. You’ll fee anxious and restless and then you’ll exhibit physical symptoms like insomnia, headaches, stomachaches and more.

    What exercise does is cause you to produce a greater supply of endorphins. Not only do these chemicals take care of stress, but they work to boost your supply of inner strength.

    You’ll feel calmer and ready to handle whatever it is that you need to take care of. There are some exercises that are better for boosting your inner strength than others.

    When you exercise vigorously – such as with aerobic exercise – you’ll find that you have more inner strength. This is because the faster paced exercise works to raise the endorphin levels, but at the same time, it drives down the stress level, gives you more confidence and a more positive attitude.

    When you take part in a regular exercise routine, you’ll find that your store of inner strength increases and has a beneficial boost to your mental abilities. The key to using exercise to boost your inner strength is making sure that you find something that you enjoy doing.

    If you don’t, you’ll only feel the added stress of doing something that you don’t want to do and you’ll be dealing with the negative emotions associated with that, instead of healing.

    How Mantras Boost Your Inner Strength

    If you’re not sure what a mantra is, it’s a sound or a word that’s used to help people focus when they’re meditating. There are many reasons that you want to use mantras.

    They can help you deflect the thoughts and attitudes that can drain your inner strength. When you practice a mantra, you’ll notice that you have a more positive outlook toward whatever it is that you’re dealing with.

    You’ll also discover that learning a mantra can set you free from stress and anxiety. The words that you use in a mantra or the sounds that you’ll use can vary depending on what you choose to do.

    There can be particular mantras, too – based on what you’re searching for. Some people will use a basic Om sound as their mantra while others will use specific mantras that translate into requests for healing or blessings or other things that they want to focus on.

    Mantras are a way of tapping into your inner strength and finding the balance that you need to restore the draining energy. When you have a mantra, you can use it to help you focus during the times that you feel uncertain or nervous.

    You can use it to calm your fears and to help you find your center so that you remain in control. Studies have shown that people who use mantras to help boost their inner strength are often more successful in all areas of their lives than people who don’t.

    You’ll experience clarity and a mental focus that others won’t have. Not only will you be able to boost your inner strength on a regular basis, but during a time of crisis when you really need your mental alertness.

    Mantras help you be aware of what’s going on around you as well as within you. They can guide you to help lift you above the situation and to keep your perspective.

    This will help you to see situations as solvable and as a moment in time rather than as something that can’t be overcome. When you practice with a mantra, it will teach you to be more confident in your abilities and can raise your self-esteem.

    You’ll be able to find the positives even in the negative situations you might have to deal with. By using a mantra, you’ll be able to have a way to relax at any moment throughout the day.

    This can help bring your emotions back into focus. People who practice mantras are also often more compassionate and slower to get angry. This level headedness is a wonderful trait to have in terms of keeping you emotionally sound.

    Affirmations Are a Tool for Boosting Inner Strength

    Some people think that affirmations and mantras are one in the same, but they’re not. Rather than being a single word or a sound, an affirmation is made up of complete sentences.

    These sentences are designed to delve deep into the subconscious mind to refill the well of inner strength. When people practice these sentences, they’re keys that can help the user see what it is that restores them.

    When the affirmations are practiced, the subconscious mind recognizes them. Behavior changes takes place based on how the person then decides to live his or her life.

    Affirmations influence the people who use them by causing them to react to pleasant or unpleasant situations with a happier outlook. When affirmations are practiced, it allows the person to replenish the inner strength rather than taking from it.

    When you connect with the power of the subconscious mind, you can change your life. What the affirmations do first is affect the way that you think. The way that you think about things will be followed by the way that you act.

    So if you’re someone who has a situation in your life that has always robbed you of confidence or affected your self-esteem, practicing affirmations can help you change the way that you react because it changes your thought processes.

    You’ll be able to break free of the type of thinking that keeps you stuck. Affirmations give you a positive outlook on life, which in turn leads you to feeling happier and more vibrant.

    The positivity adds to your inner strength rather than taking from it. You don’t have to carve out huge blocks of time to be able to practice affirmations. You can say them throughout the day to unleash their positive power.

    When you first begin to use affirmations, you might encounter some self-resistance because it can be a struggle to change the way that you’ve always thought about things.

    But you can press on and use affirmations to help you until it becomes second nature for you. You can use different affirmations depending on what type of inner strength you need to boost.

    For example, if you’re struggling in the area of self-doubt and you feel like a failure in what you try to do, then you need to use an affirmation that supports your success.

    For that type of affirmation, you would say something like “I can achieve success” or “Success is drawn to me.” Don’t put it in the future by using words like, “I will succeed.”

    If you were struggling with feeling sad or not happy with your life, you would use affirmations that affirmed happiness. You would repeat a sentence such as “Happiness dwells within me” or “Happiness is drawn to me.”

    You wouldn’t say, “I will become happier.” You want to keep it in the present. By using affirmations to change your subconscious, you can boost the level of your inner strength.

    Using Yoga to Boost Inner Strength

    Finding a way to boost your inner strength is a lot easier than you might think. One of the ways that you can do this is by practicing yoga. Yoga is a spiritual practice that uses breathing and postures in meditation and relaxation.

    It teaches people how to gain inner strength and get rid of stress. You can use it to help you retain a sense of peace. By working to build up a person’s body and mind strength, it works to boost the inner strength.

    You might be living your life and feel that you’re doing what you supposed to do but there are times throughout the day when you simply feel so mentally and emotionally drained, it’s hard to muddle through.

    Or you might reach the end of the day and feel as if you gave your all to the point where you have nothing left to give – including to yourself. This will quickly drain your inner strength and if you don’t boost it back, you’ll end up experiencing things like fatigue and emotional and physical upsets.

    Yoga is a tool that you can use to influence yourself toward being a positive person and positive people are more successful. The reason is because people who have inner strength have a confidence that others don’t often have.

    Practicing yoga makes you feel a greater sense of self because when you take part in the poses, your body releases endorphins that affect your mood and give you a boost.

    When you practice yoga on a consistent basis, you’ll notice that you feel better physically and emotionally. The benefit of yoga is that it can be practiced anywhere – including at the office.

    When you feel that mental and emotional drain and you know that your inner strength needs a boost, you can use yoga to give you back your energy and clarity.

    You’ll feel better about yourself and your abilities. There are different types of yoga that you can use. But some of them are better suited for boosting inner strength than others.

    There is Ashtanga, Bikram, Iyenga, Vinyasa and Hatha. Of these, Hatha is more often used for the purpose of boosting inner strength because it has the ability to restore balance to the body.

    Finding the Right Self-Help Books to Boost Inner Strength

    A great tool that you can use to boost your inner strength is a self-help book. You can find a wide selection of them at retail and online stores that are written specifically to guide you toward greater inner strength.

    One of the ways that these books can help you is that they teach you the link that self-esteem has with your actions. When you have lower self-esteem, you also have a lack of confidence in your ability as a person.

    This lack of confidence bleeds over into how you perform at work and how well you do in your relationships with other people. When you struggle with your inner strength, it can make you feel less happy than you deserve to feel.

    By using a self-help book, you can have the power that you need to reach the best level of inner strength. These books will help you be able to pinpoint how you’re sabotaging yourself in different areas of your life and draining your well of inner strength.

    You’ll learn about actions that you’re doing that create a well of negativity and keep you trapped in an ongoing cycle of strength drain. When you gain the inner strength balance that you need, you’ll be able to overcome a lack of self-esteem.

    You’ll discover that you feel more confident in your relationships and with your job. You’ll also learn to recognize situations and people in your life that act as drains on your attitude – and how you can deal with these individuals.

    A self help book can show you how to restore your inner strength through the use of different techniques that teach calmness and restoration. You’ll be able to view things with a clarity that you didn’t have before.

    You’ll learn exactly what inner strength is and the issues that can occur in life that can affect your strength. You’ll learn the negative and positive influences that are around and within you that you need either avoid or cultivate.

    By using self help books that show you how to boost your inner strength, you’ll gain a stronger sense of self that will lead you to develop a life of accomplishments and happiness that are well within your reach.

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    Check in With Yourself to Recognize and Weed Out Self Doubt

    Self doubt can creep into your psyche without you even suspecting it’s there until the first niggling thought makes itself clear. You have to be aware of your thoughts and how you’re reacting at all times to weed them out before they grow and take over your creativity and destroy your goals.

    Doubts can run wild in your mind, making you question your abilities about anything new or different. If you’re prepared, you can recognize the doubts for the lies they are and let your knowledge and common sense get you through.

    When you check in to reality you’ll realize that the negative thoughts are occurring for various reasons. For example, you could be lost in comparing yourself with others in marketing.

    It may make you feel inadequate and doubt your ability to succeed. Make a firm decision and stick to it. When self doubt about what you’re trying to accomplish creeps into your thoughts, make a decision to either carry through with your goal or trash it and go on with something else you’re more certain of.

    If you do decide to go on to something else, don’t think of it as a failure. It was a learning experience that taught you a lesson and you aren’t wasting any more time on it. If you decide to go through with the plan, take action immediately.

    Making a fast decision may seem impulsive, but most likely the decision is based on intuition and the knowledge that you’ve prepared enough for the journey ahead. You can always fine tune your plan as you progress.

    At least you’re taking action toward your goals. Replace negative self doubt with positive thoughts. Choose any method that works for you. Meditation, journaling, affirmations, listening to music or reading a good book or simply chatting with positive-minded friends may give you the boost you need to move on.

    All of us find ourselves dealing with self doubt at some point in our lives. If you let it get the best of you by feeding in to it and actually believing the lies you’re telling yourself, it can destroy even the best of intentions for success.

    Learn to recognize and weed out the crippling, negative thoughts and get on with achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself. Begin the learning process by becoming aware of your thoughts – check in with them a few times a day. You’ll soon be able to discern the “keeper” thoughts from the “discard” pile.

    Categories: Mindset, Self Doubt, self-doubt Tags: Tags:

    Balancing the Law of Attraction with Personal Responsibility

    The Law of Attraction can change your life by bringing into your world what you want the most. The LOA is not limited to one particular area of your life. So if you want better family relationships, you can have that.

    If you want to improve your life financially, you can do that too. Maybe you need better health or a better job. Perhaps you want to improve a romantic situation. The Law of Attraction can change of all that for you – but only if you know how it’s meant to work.

    What It Means to Have the Universe Working For You

    If you’ve ever heard the saying “You get out of something what you put into it,” then you’ve just heard the meaning of the Law of Attraction described. What goes out into the Universe will always come back to you.

    That means that if you wake up in the morning and you’re in a bad mood, you might act out of sorts and grumpy. You might head to work and discover that all of the commuters in the other cars are also grumpy.

    You arrive at work and find out that all of your colleagues are behaving with the same level of irritation. You talk to your boss and he almost bites your head off he’s so grumpy.

    What just happened is that the LOA was giving back to you exactly what you put out. When you’re in a bad mood, you often project those negative feelings out into the world.

    And because the Law of Attraction will attract the same thing that you put out, how you behave affects what’s delivered to you. So if you want happiness and joy brought back to you, that’s what you must first radiate into the Universe.

    You can’t radiate negativity and get back positives because the LOA works with whatever you give it to work with. If you bolster your courage and decide that you’re going to walk into a room with confidence, then you’re projecting that.

    The LOA is going to bring that confidence back to you by the way that others will view you. They’ll see that you’re a confident person and you’ll get the reputation that you’re the one people can count on – which is very helpful in any job relations.

    This can help you get promotions when you project an air of confidence. Your attitude about how you live your life makes all the difference in the world. When you wake up in the morning, how you feel will determine how that day goes as well as how your life goes.

    For example, if you wake up in the morning feeling empowered like you can get done what needs to be done and you’re determined that success is going to be yours, then it will be.

    But on the other hand, if you wake up in a funk and you feel down, like there’s no point in you even trying because you just can’t win, or you just can’t get ahead, then that’s exactly how your day will go.

    That’s exactly how your life will be.

    The reason for this is because the LOA is not a genie in a bottle. You don’t get to simply wish yourself the kind of life you’d like to have. And this is where so many people miss the truth behind the LOA.

    They think they can command or just wish the life they want into existence. But that takes away from your part. You see, the LOA reacts to how you live your life. If you live in a state of kindness, you get back kind people in response.

    If you live in a selfish way, always looking out for number one, never wanting to help other people, then that’s what you get back. You attract to yourself the kind of life that you’re living.

    If you live joyfully, you get joy. If you give freely, you get from others freely. It’s just the way the LOA works. So to think that something doesn’t work when you’re sabotaging it with how you live will keep you trapped in that same cycle and you won’t ever make changes until you break free from that way of thinking.

    Who Do You Blame for Your Current Situation?

    The world is full of people who blame everyone under the sun for their lot in life. It’s always someone else’s fault. From the time they were a child, they never had a chance.

    Their parents messed up. Or their teachers did. Or it was their boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife. If it hadn’t been for those people causing their life to get so messed up, then their current life would be just fine.

    Blaming someone else has been going on since the beginning of time. That’s because it’s easier to blame someone else than it is to take a long, hard look in the mirror and accept responsibility for the way things are going.

    The sad part is that until you do take responsibility, nothing is going to change. There are several areas in life where it’s common to push the blame for your own actions off onto someone else.

    You’ll see this a lot in dating, romantic relationships, marriages – whenever there are emotions involved, the situation is ripe for the blame game. Whenever something goes wrong, someone inevitably blames the other person.

    When you don’t get your emotional needs met in a relationship, it can turn into the blame game then as well. An example of the blame game in a relationship is when one partner doesn’t get the job he or she wanted.

    So he or she blames the other person by saying they weren’t supportive when he or she wanted to go back to school and earn a degree that might have helped them land that position.

    Instead of looking at reasons why they weren’t hired, they just look to cast blame off of themselves. Sometimes in a relationship, if there’s strain or tension, instead of looking at how you might have caused or added to that strain, you place all the blame solely on that person.

    For example, a partner might say that his or her intimate life suffered neglect because the other person worked too many hours. Instead of looking for a solution to the problem such as “How can I work with that schedule to give us the time we both need?” they simply write it off as not their fault and move on.

    This could be a reason why you’re having trouble in relationships if that is the case. You have to be willing to accept the responsibility for your part in whatever goes on between you and your partner.

    You might have to deal with things like a partner disliking your friends or family. But look at what you might have done to cause that dislike. Did you allow your friends or family to treat your partner disrespectfully?

    Talk about him or her behind their backs? Rather than looking to place blame, look for ways you can help change the negative in the relationship into a positive. Another area where people do a lot of blame placing is with their job.

    They procrastinate and miss a deadline, then blame their colleagues or their boss. Or they don’t get the materials that they need to do a job in on time to meet a project deadline, so they blame the people who were supposed to get the materials to them.

    Part of the blame game with a job also has to do with promotions. Whenever you don’t get a promotion that you thought you deserved, it can be easy to turn around and blame a colleague or a boss.

    It can be easy to blame anything other than accepting the possibility that your own actions caused you trouble at work. Scheduling ahead can help keep you from missing deadlines.

    Making sure that you have all of the materials gathered long before a project is due can help keep you on target. And looking at the reasons why someone else got promoted rather than you can help you avoid the blame game at work.

    When we get disappointed because we don’t get a hope or expectation met, it can be too easy to look outwardly rather than inwardly. Plus, sometimes things happen just because that’s the way it’s supposed to be and it’s not your time yet.

    But placing blame never helps anyone – least of all you. In fact, it can work against you by allowing you to release negative energy that will come back to you.

    Cleaning the house is another avenue where the blame game exists. The house doesn’t get clean because someone else makes a mess. Or it gets messy because the dog ran through the house with muddy paws right after you cleaned the carpet.

    You couldn’t clean those muddy footprints because you don’t have any shampoo left in the carpet shampoo machine because someone else used it all and didn’t replace it.

    You can’t vacuum because someone else sucked something up into it, burned out the belt and it hasn’t been fixed yet. You’ve had too much to do at work. Your kids have had too many outside activities.

    There was a great movie on last night and you got caught up in watching that instead of cleaning like the house needed it. If only someone hadn’t left the television on.

    Or if only your family member or friend hadn’t called you on the phone wanting to talk, you would have gotten the house clean. Maybe you don’t have the equipment that you need because your vacuum cleaner broke and it’s not fixed yet.

    Or you don’t have any cleaning solution because the store was all sold out of the kind that you use. The house is messy because it’s not all your fault. You just can’t keep up.

    While this could all be true, it’s still part of the blame game. We all do exactly what we want to do. We will make the time for what we enjoy or what we must do in order to survive.

    What falls low on our priority list is easier to blame others for. Maybe you can’t ever find the time to relax because you’re too busy working or taking care of the house.

    Or perhaps you have too many family responsibilities. You’re running children to and from activities or taking care of elderly parents. You might be having health problems or financial problems and you don’t ever feel that it’s your fault.

    It’s always someone else’s fault that you find yourself in the position that you’re in. If you want the LOA to work for you, then you have to stop pointing fingers. If your relationships aren’t working, don’t point at your partner or your family members or your friends.

    When your job isn’t going well, don’t look to your colleagues, suppliers or boss to blame. The times the house is a wreck, your health is bad and your finances are a mess, take a hard look at how you’re contributing to letting these issues be a part of your life.

    While the Law of Attraction does help to attract good things to your life, you have to take personal responsibility for the things that are off-kilter right now. For the relationships, figure out what it is that you’re doing wrong.

    Stop blaming someone else if you’re miserable in a relationship. No one can make you unhappy without your permission. No one else has the power to upset you or as many people seem to think to “ruin” your life.

    That’s power you give them by not accepting personal responsibility. What you have to do with relationships is to figure out what’s going wrong. What’s upsetting you?

    Next, you look for the solution. If there is no solution that you can see, you can either reach out to a third party for advice or help or put the brakes on that relationship.

    At work, plan ahead so that the blame game stops. Put the responsibility for getting your work done squarely on your shoulders and have a backup plan for when someone else’s issue can affect your work.

    If you have trouble keeping your home neat and organized, schedule a time to clean it and don’t let anything but an emergency distract you from that time. Or, you can hire a cleaning service.

    Even if you hire someone, you’re still taking responsibility and that’s a good thing. Find time to relax by adding that to your schedule the same way that you would schedule a doctor or dentist appointment.

    You’re making an appointment with yourself. Take that time to go to the movies, go for a walk, or sit quietly and listen to your favorite music, but make the time to relax because it helps reduce stress.

    Relaxed people also find it easier to attract relaxation to their lives. If your health is suffering and it’s because of some lifestyle habits you have that aren’t conducive toward good health, then quit them.

    Make small changes to your diet, exercise, and get involved in activities that promote good health. Problems with finances can cause us to be more negative than positive.

    If you’re struggling on this end, there’s one of two ways to fix it. You must either earn more or spend less. If you’re tapped out because you’ve lived above your means for too long, then you need to stop spending, take on a part time job along with the one you have and work to pay off your bills.

    While the LOA will attract financial wealth to you, it doesn’t just work because you want it to. It works because you’re the driving force behind it. Hard work pays off by attracting more opportunities to earn the money you need to make.

    Change Your Actions to Align with Personal Responsibility

    Realizing that you’ve been placing blame is a step in the right direction because this realization can be a doorway to changing your actions. Every area of your life is subject to change once you decide that you’re to take responsibility for what’s been going on.

    It’s easy to place blame and people do it because they think it absolves them in having a hand in what happened. But what this does is steal your power and create a mentality within your mind that you’re just being carried downstream, along for the ride, helpless to swim against the current and set yourself free.

    For every single scenario in life that causes you problems or stress, there is an answer – and that answer lies within yourself. At work, you might have to deal with a colleague that just loves to talk.

    They’re always hanging out at your cubicle or in your office chatting ninety miles an hour about stuff they’ve seen, heard, what they’ve bought and they’re riding that gossip train until it’s run dry.

    Because we’re taught to be polite, most of us do spend the time we don’t have listening to stuff we shouldn’t listen to. You don’t need to put the blame on that coworker who just won’t be quiet and go away.

    The LOA won’t work for you by waving a fairy wand to make sure all of your work gets completed. If you’re wondering how you can handle a situation like a chatty coworker so that it doesn’t fall back on you and you fall back on blaming them, you handle it by taking control.

    You don’t let them drive your time. You drive it. And it’s not that difficult. You can say something as simple as, “I’d love to sit and listen, but I don’t have time now, so let me let you go and catch you later.”

    Your coworker will get the hint and will leave. If your coworker doesn’t get that hint, you just say, “I don’t have time to talk, so I’ve got to start working” and then you do just that.

    When something goes on in your life that makes you feel the need to place blame, you should immediately stop and reassess what’s going on. Look to see if it really is someone else’s fault as to why something happened.

    Now, sometimes it is, but the majority of the time, it’s not. For example, if you have trouble keeping your home neat and clean, is it really your partner’s fault because he or she isn’t a neat person?

    Or, if you pay attention, can you see that you’ll take something out, use the item and then fail to put it back? Look at how you’re contributing to the problem and then work on fixing that.

    Remember that you can’t change the way that someone else acts and it’s really not your responsibility anyway to change them. That doesn’t mean you have to put up with certain issues like someone not picking up after themselves.

    If finances are an issue, you can take responsibility by taking a financial course and learning all that you can about how to manage your money. When health problems crop up, this is an area that you should address right away.

    Many people blame their health problems on lack of time to exercise, not enough money to afford to eat healthy, a job that’s too stressful and so on. If you make excuses, it won’t change anything.

    You can take control of your health by making time to exercise. Even if all you do is walk outside your office while eating your lunch as you walk because that’s all the time you have, it’ll still help your health.

    Eating healthy, even if you think you can’t afford it is still an option. A lot of people who say they can’t eat healthy don’t plan ahead. You can make healthy meals in advance and freeze them for the times when reaching for junk food is too tempting.

    Relationships are a big area where taking personal responsibility is a must. If you’re someone that always seems to end up getting dumped by the person you care you about, there is a way that you can change that so you end up in relationships that are here for the long run.

    With relationships, the reason that most men and women end up in a cycle of getting dumped or having to dump a bad relationship is because they make the same choices.

    They follow up those choices by making the same mistakes in the relationship. Making bad decisions (such as in your choice of a partner) can lead you to being involved with someone who has issues.

    These issues can vary. They can be commitment issues or whatever. But the bottom line is you picked that person because you were drawn to them and then it all starts all over again on the way to getting dumped.

    Check to see if you’re doing any of the following things: you show jealousy when your partner talks too long or laughs with someone else. At the heart of jealousy is not usually a fault with your partner.

    It’s about you and how that deep down, maybe you don’t really trust them. If you have trust issues because you’ve been burned in the past by someone you cared about, then you have to own that.

    You have to take responsibility and work out those trust issues before you go into another relationship or you’re just going to end up getting dumped or dumping that person.

    Happiness in a relationship will always seem to elude you because you’re putting the weight of having to make you happy on someone else’s shoulders. It’s not his or her responsibility to make you happy.

    It’s yours and no one else is ever going to be able to fill that for you. You might even be playing the blame game with your relationships. You’re always at each other’s throats.

    Every little thing becomes a big argument until one of you walks out the door. So you blame that person for leaving you or you blame that person for pushing you out the door.

    A relationship, at the heart of it, is a choice. You choose to stay or you choose to leave. No one can force you to do either, so own your actions if you go that route. Look at yourself and see if you’ve allowed yourself to create a relationship cycle.

    Do you always go for high drama people? Are you drawn to needy, clingy partners? You want to make sure that you’re not the reason that none of your relationships are lasting.

    It can be difficult to face the truth that you can be the problem in a relationship, but if you want to fix the cycle of getting dumped or doing the dumping, then you have to examine the part that you’re playing in this.

    Blame Isn’t the Only Detriment to Your Successful Life

    Blaming others when things go on in your life prevents you from taking ownership of what you should take ownership for. Plenty of people do this, but it can be changed and you can own your actions.

    On the other hand of the blame game is pushing off the power of praise. A lot of people do this and for good reason. It’s because we’re taught from childhood to be humble.

    We’re taught to look out for others. But what you might not have learned is that there is a fine line between being humble and not accepting what is rightfully yours that you deserve to accept.

    This area is usually found in the area of praise. An example of this is a stranger jumping off an icy bridge into a rushing river to save the life of someone he doesn’t know.

    Later, when he’s interviewed, he downplays that praise from the television reporter, from the bystanders and from the public. Usually, the person says, “I only did what anyone would have done.”

    No, he didn’t do what anyone would have done – which is why there were bystanders. The man who put his life at risk to save the life of someone else deserved to be praised for his actions.

    There was no guarantee that his own life would be saved. But because we’re taught to be humble, people pass off praise like they don’t deserve it. Just like you must own the blame for what goes on in your life, you must also own the praise.

    When someone says, “Oh, you look great,” the standard answer is usually, “This old thing?” or “No, I don’t. I look old/fat/worn out.” We don’t accept the praise even though the other person is being genuine.

    We do this in the area of work, too. When the boss stands up and publicly comments to the office staff that a certain worker really made the project pull together, what usually happens is the worker passes the praise off.

    He might say something like, “No, really, it was a team effort.” With so much emphasis on being humble and taking care not to be proud, we’ve gone to the extreme and started seeing a compliment as a bad thing.

    We’re afraid that if we accept it, we might get a big head and start to have ego problems. Here’s something to remember. The people who worry about being too proud or having ego problems aren’t usually the ones that do.

    It’s the people that never wonder about being too proud or egotistical who are. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your life, and of who you are.

    Too many people spend far too much time with internal dialogue that downplays their achievements. For example, if you finish a tough project at work, you might be proud of yourself only to have that internal voice say, “Anyone could have done that.”

    No, anyone could not have done that. You have to retrain yourself to not only learn how to take the praise that belongs to you, but to learn how to stop allowing yourself to give it away by thinking you don’t deserve the praise.

    The downside to not accepting praise is that you begin to believe that you don’t deserve it. You humble yourself to the point that what you’re putting out into the Universe becomes quite negative.

    Things like, “I don’t deserve this” or “I can’t believe I faked my way through this” become your truth. What happens then is that you’re sending out negative energy and that’s exactly what’s going to come back to you.

    So when you are praised, accept it and know that you deserved it. Don’t be afraid to be proud of yourself, either.

    Things You Can’t Change – and the One Thing You Can

    Some things in life are set in stone. You can talk, you can flail about and you can beat your head against what you want changed and it just isn’t going to give. That’s because there are things within your circle of control and things outside your circle of control.

    For example, there’s a huge project coming up at work. Your boss will decide who to give it to. The final decision will be his. You can talk, you can showcase your talents and you can even come right out and ask him for it.

    But if his mind is made up and the choice is not you, you’re not going to change his mind. The reason for that is because you don’t have the power to control what other people think, say and do.

    It would be nice if you could, but it’s not going to happen. So what you want to be careful with is that you don’t waste your time fretting over and trying to change things that are outside of your circle.

    This is the fastest way to build stress and pile up negative thoughts and emotions. The boyfriend or girlfriend you have who seems a little self-centered? You’re not going to change that person.

    You can leave out a stack of self-help books for them to read. You can suggest videos, suggest they plan romantic gestures, and even drop bold hints. But it’s like they have no eyes to see and no ears to hear.

    A lot of spouses do this. They drop hints and they spend years trying to change the other person and decades pass without it ever happening. You can’t change other people.

    You can only accept them for who they are and if you can’t do that, then you have to distance yourself from them. This is a big thing in families because everyone has “that” relative who’s a pain to be around.

    No amount of arguing or rehashing the same stuff every holiday is ever going to fix that person. So if you think someone else is the issue, you’re going to have to learn to change your reaction to them – because they’re not going to change.

    And if they do, consider it a gift from the Universe – but the odds are a million to one that they’ll change. We make choices in life and not everyone is onboard with those decisions we make.

    Some people don’t say a word about it, while others are quite vocal. This is especially true about parents. You might have heard the spiel. It goes something like this:

    “Why don’t you get a real job? Why would you date him/her? You shouldn’t marry him/her. You should buy that car. You shouldn’t buy that car. You should rent. You should buy a house. You need to have children. You don’t need to have children. You should diet. You’re too skinny! Eat something.”

    The list could go on because every one of us has parents who aren’t happy with every decision we make. You can work yourself into a frenzy trying to please your parents.

    Or your spouse. Or your partner. Or your children. Or your boss. Or your colleagues. Or, you can live your life the way that you feel it should be lived. Without apologies.

    You can make changes according to the way that you feel those changes should be made. You should never change something or make a decision just because someone else feels this is the way you should go with your life.

    If it’s not your decision, you’re not doing it for you and you’re not going to be happy in the long run. Since you can’t control other people and how the react to your life, there’s only one thing you can concentrate on.

    You.

    You can only control your actions. You can control your actions with your own life. You can control your actions that impact your job, your home, your relationships.

    You can also only control your own thoughts. You can’t control what someone else thinks about you or your actions. A lot of people waste precious time worrying about what someone else thinks.

    Who cares?

    It’s not their life. You only have one life and it’s a gift for you to enjoy, not them. You can also only control your reaction to someone else’s actions. You can’t help if someone is a jerk.

    That’s their issue. But you can control your reaction. For example, if someone is having a high drama moment and they’re yelling and hopping around with a full steam of anger powering them, you don’t have to get defensive.

    You don’t have to start snarling back at them. You can walk away because you’re the one in control of your own actions.

    The Law of Attraction is an incredible tool that can help you morph into the person you want to be, living the kind of life you want to live. But you have to understand your part in the mystical equation and accept personal responsibility for how you make your dreams come true.

    Categories: Mindset Tags: Tags: ,

    Comparing Yourself to Other Marketers Helps Self Doubt Thrive

    Comparing yourself to other marketers can only be detrimental to your present and future successes. You may not be at the same experience level of those you’re comparing yourself to and another person’s success may not be the magical transformation you perceive it to be.

    Self doubt can arise from the comparisons you make between you and fellow marketers. Some may seem to have the Midas touch to whatever project they choose to pursue – but you aren’t privy to what goes on before the huge successes.

    Those entrepreneurs who are successful have likely spent an enormous amount of time, money and effort on their ventures. It may look easy, but chances are they had many self doubts about their own potential for success before it happened.

    Comparison to others and the self doubt that follows goes on in every business – but it’s more prevalent in Internet marketing because you’re always putting yourself out there, presenting yourself and your ideas to others.

    If the many failures that are sure to happen were figured into the mix, another person’s success may look entirely different to you. Huge and consistent successes of others can make you feel like such a loser – because someone is always making more money than you or seems to be successful with every launch of a product.

    Comparisons like that are dangerous to your own self confidence and can defeat what you’re trying to accomplish. You may not be aware of their many failures in the past or of how many hours and dollars they’ve spent getting to this point.

    One way to look at comparisons differently is to view them as challenges. “If she can do it, I know I can!” may be exactly the boost of adrenalin you need to take action and make your own success come true.

    Many people who have reached a certain level of success use comparisons to others as a tool to strategize their future business moves. It provides quick insight to trends and what’s working for others so you can incorporate many of the same ideas for yourself.

    Competition is fierce among many types of businesses – especially Internet marketing. Looking into strategies of other marketers can be a good thing if you use them as models rather than comparing yourself to them in a negative way.

    Self doubt can become the nemesis of your future. Guard against comparing yourself to others in a negative light and focus on your present and future goals to lead you to the success you desire.

    Categories: Mindset, Self Doubt, self-doubt Tags: Tags:

    Become an Optimist to Experience Less Stress

    It’s a scientifically proven fact that those who see the world in a “glass half full” kind of way live longer and experience less stress. Doctors claim that a big majority of all of their office calls are for chronic stress-related health woes, so it makes sense that if you see the world with a better mindset, you’d have fewer physical and mental problems.

    When researchers at Concordia University conducted a study about pessimists and optimists, they discovered a direct link between the person’s outlook on life and their stress hormone levels. An optimist’s levels are steady, while a pessimist’s soars out of control and become unmanageable.

    Optimist Versus Pessimist

    First, let’s take a look at what it means to be an optimist. An optimist is someone who basically believes everything’s going to be okay. They don’t have a doom and gloom outlook on life, even when something goes wrong.

    That doesn’t mean they ignore times of distress, either. But instead of throwing their hands up in the air and giving up (and giving in) to an awful situation, they roll up their sleeves and get to work making things better.

    A pessimist, on the other hand, can’t see a positive outcome resulting from a stressful situation at all. They usually worst case scenario every event – and if they don’t, it’s still a situation where nothing good can come of it.

    Pessimists usually can’t understand it, but their outlook is what brings all of that negativity to fruition for them. For example, they go to work knowing that they’ll never get a promotion at work.

    Their lackluster attitude affects the workplace. The boss doesn’t see a go getter – he sees a miserable employee, so he does choose someone else for the promotion because he wants a leader – someone who can inspire others.

    If an optimist gets passed over for the job, they adopt a mindset that has them analyzing what went wrong so that they can repair it and get ahead in the near future.

    Pessimists Can’t Control Their Cortisol

    It’s not that they don’t want to, but a pessimist can’t manage his cortisol (the stress hormone) levels once they’re disrupted. Not only does the hormone present at a much higher level, but once it’s released, the pessimist can’t claw their way out of it.

    What happens to the pessimist when his or her stress levels get out of control on a consistent basis?

    * Their Hearts Suffer

    A pessimist suffers from heart disease more than an optimist does. In the Psychological Bulletin, they published a scientific review about a study where researchers discovered that optimism actually protects you from heart disease to some degree.

    * Their Cholesterol Is Out of Control

    The Harvard School of Public Health found in their scientific study that optimists have a better HDL score – that’s the good cholesterol your body needs for optimal health. So pessimists have to work harder to get their levels up.

    * They Can’t See a Silver Lining During Stressful Situations

    The so-called silver lining can help you manage your stress levels. Pessimists see no such lining – but an optimist does, and they learn from bad events and prevent them in the future.

    * They Get Sick a Lot

    A pessimist has his or her immune system knocked out of whack. An optimist has a strong, formidable immune system. Researchers have discovered that an optimist’s immune cells cluster and fight off infection better than a pessimist’s does.

    * They Are More Emotionally Unstable

    Pessimists can’t handle the stress they experience, so they’re continually upset and depressed about their circumstances. It’s especially prevalent after traumatic events – they just can’t ecover. But even small stressful situations don’t leave them as quickly as larger ones.

    * They Die Sooner

    Poor pessimists. Not only is their whole life filled with one disappointment after another, but in the end, they don’t survive as long as their positive-minded peers. That’s probably because the horrible effects that stress has on your health are not having an impact on optimistic individuals.

    Is It Possible to Convert Yourself to an Optimistic Outlook?

    Some people mistakenly believe that optimists are born that way. But this isn’t true. You choose how you look at life’s ups and downs, and sometimes you have to learn new ways of handling difficult situations if you’re not equipped to do that yet.

    This isn’t going to happen overnight. If you’ve labeled yourself as a pessimist – or if others are constantly telling you that you’re negative, then you can complete an attitude readjustment and turn over a new leaf.

    What happens whenever you go through a horrible situation? We’re not talking about rush hour traffic, but something life-changing, like a round of pink slips in the workplace?

    Instead of slumping down into a stressed out, anxious state of mind, work to fortify your position at the company. Be realistic that it might not last forever and have a back-up plan by furthering your skills and learning new things that make you attractive to employers.

    It’s time for you to understand that you don’t “have bad luck” like many pessimists believe. You have control of your life and the outcome. Some things you can’t control – like being late to work because of a traffic jam. But you can control the fact that you can plan to leave a bit early each day to give yourself a cushion of time to work with.

    If you’re currently a pessimist, try surrounding yourself with positive people. Don’t bring them down with you – let their mindsets have an influence on you to lift you up to a better place.

    It’s not just about people you allow to have an effect on you – it’s everything. From television news, movies and shows to music that you listen to – even books that you read – try to keep it upbeat, or at least keep the negative stuff to a minimum.

    If you realize that certain things put you in a better mood, do more of it! It might be a certain scent filling the air in a room, or a specific CD that sets the tone for a better you.

    Change your mindset whenever you catch yourself getting down in the dumps. You might have to keep a record of it at first, recording your moods throughout the day and seeing what triggers you to have a pessimistic response.

    But over time, you’ll also see a pattern of positive triggers. For example, maybe watching the news after work sets you off, but playing a game with your kids lifts your mood. You can spend more time playing and less time informing yourself of what’s wrong in the world.

    Some pessimists make fun of the optimists by saying they’re not being realistic. Well neither are you, if you want the honest truth. Instead of being in your head imagining what all is wrong and how bad it is, seek out conversations with real people who have a better outlook on life.

    Train yourself to be a glass half full type of person. Whenever you encounter a negative situation that stresses you out, stop, take a deep breath, and consider how it can turn into a positive – or at least how it’s not as bad as you’re initially thinking it is.

    If you start to see a real change in your attitude, pat yourself on the back for your efforts. It’s not easy making the switch – and most people (pessimists especially), never make the effort.

    The fact that you even attempted it means you’re not nearly as pessimistic as you might think you are – because you believe the in the possibility that you can change – and you will.

    In one interesting study, researchers told participants to complete a sentence. One group had to complete a sentence that said, “I wish I were a …” and the other had to complete a sentence that said, “I’m glad I’m not a …”

    In the first one, the participant has to basically adopt a negative outlook by not being happy with what they currently are. In the second one, they’re thankful for what they are and acknowledging that thinks could be worse.

    Waging War on Pessimism

    Right now, as a pessimist, you’re putting yourself in a precarious situation. You’re risking your health and happiness and possibly having a negative impact on those around you.

    You don’t want that! It’s time to take matters into your own hands and start managing your stress better. You can do this by working on your positive outlook each day.

    Use positive affirmations as a good starting point. These are positive phrases and sentences that get ingrained in your head. Here is a list of positive affirmations that you can post where you’ll see them:

    * I believe in myself.
    * I am capable of handling difficult situations.
    * Life is full of endless opportunities.
    * I am at peace with how my life is going.
    * I am thankful for what I have in life.

    They may sound very simplistic, but they’re no more simple than a negative sentence such as, “Everything goes wrong all the time,” which is how a pessimist thinks on a regular basis.

    Introduce laughter into your life. Different things make different people life. Whatever works for you, do more of it! It might be going to comedy clubs or watching comedies on TV. Maybe you like to have friends over and play games – laughter is an incredible stress reliever and makes you feel more positive about life.

    Practice smiling. Many people think that smiles are a result of good things happening to you, right? Well the reverse is true too. You can promote positivity in your life by turning that frown upside down!

    This is such an incredible finding that researchers at the University of Cardiff in Wales discovered that when a person’s ability to frown is impeded (using Botox in this case), the participant in the study felt happier!

    You might not want to go the Botox route, but you can actively practice smiling more throughout the day. Not only will your smiles make you happier, but they’ll make others happier, too.

    It’s okay to be a realistic person when it comes to living life. If you fake it to the point that you refuse to acknowledge negative things happening, then you’re a Pollyanna and you can actually cause harm to yourself because you refuse to take responsibility for things – you just expect everything to end up perfect!

    Take small steps each day to set yourself on a course that has you increasing your happiness each day. Soon, your pessimism will be a thing of the past and you won’t ever feel like returning to that way of thinking again.

    Use a variety of tools if one doesn’t work for you. If comedy and positive affirmation flops, then try counseling, books, the Law of Attraction, and other methods to help you break free of the negative mindset forever.

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    Don’t Confuse Self Doubt with Self Esteem

    You may know for sure that you have the knowledge and experience to succeed, but there still may be nagging doubts that you can’t or won’t succeed online. These doubts can be confused with low self esteem, but they’re very different in how they factor in to results.

    When you have high self esteem, you feel good about yourself. You may be physically fit, very intelligent or are known for being a hard worker who gets the job done. Self doubt may creep in when you’re faced with something new or different such as an online marketing business.

    Even those who have been in the business long enough to have gathered a reputation of success can have doubts about their abilities to bring their businesses to the next level of success.

    There’s always something new to learn and you have to be ready and willing to put the time and effort behind your ideas. Self esteem comes from positive self-talk that brands you as a person you can believe in to achieve the outcome you want.

    Self doubt can crush all of that by focusing on past failures, comparing yourself to other marketers and giving in to fear. One way to fight self doubt and let your self esteem take over is to take action.

    That’s the only way you’ll ever gain the experience you need to reach the business goals you’ve set for yourself. You’ll gain confidence as you progress through the smaller goals to reach the larger ones and this will boost your self esteem and push the self doubt into the background.

    Self esteem is knowing your capabilities and self doubt only sets up obstacles for you to overcome to reach your goals. A little bit of both (self doubt and self esteem) is natural and can be good for you if viewed in the right way.

    Your self esteem can push aside self doubt when it threatens to paralyze you and ruin your plans for the future. After all, you’ve succeeded with many things in the past and can do it again.

    Reach back into your mind and remember the successes you’ve had in the past. If you’re new to Internet marketing, you may have to remember successes in other areas of your life, but as you overcome the self doubts associated with marketing, you’ll be able to feel good about yourself in that area, too.

    Your self esteem will carry you far in life. The self doubt you may feel when starting a new business can be put to rest by taking action and gaining valuable experience that silences any questions about what you’re capable of.

    Categories: Mindset, Self Doubt, self-doubt Tags: Tags:

    Self Doubt Is Understandable, But Crippling

    Even the most confident person you can think of has an occasional bout of self doubt. The trick is to recognize it for what it is and then get on with the business of being successful.

    That’s how successful entrepreneurs beat the self doubt plague. Consistent self doubt is as crippling as clinical depression and you may soon find yourself in a rut that’s difficult to extract yourself from.

    As a fledgling – or seasoned entrepreneur, you have a lot riding on your ability to stay focused. Your ultimate level of success and satisfaction with your chosen career depends on it.

    It’s imperative that you develop the resilience to overcome self doubt you’re sure to experience and replace that negativity with other thoughts designed to build your confidence rather than bringing it down.

    Self doubt can cause indecision and procrastination – both lethal detriments to your ultimate success. Yet, every challenge you face in your quest as an online entrepreneur brings with it old hauntings from your mind that may prevent you from overcoming the challenges and achieving your goals unless you can get a grip on them and see them for what they are – lies.

    The higher you climb on the ladder of success, the more self doubt you’re likely to have. What can you do to alleviate some of these obstacles and direct your energy in a more productive manner?

    It begins in your mind and progresses to taking action as you learn you really are capable of facing and overcoming any challenges that come your way. First, you should know and be comforted that you’re not the only person (successful or not) who has suffered from self doubt along the way.

    Acknowledging that others have felt as you do and became successful in spite of self doubt can alleviate your worries and help you get past the feelings more quickly. If you haven’t already set some personal and business goals for yourself, do it immediately.

    It’s part of the plan that you’ll use as the map to the magic kingdom of success. It’s perfectly okay to set lofty, long-term goals. Just make sure you set attainable, short-term goals, too – so you can experience success in small increments along the way.

    Short term goals are important because they provide continuous realization that you are moving along quite nicely and are well on your way to meeting those long term goals. It lets you bask in the sunshine of the smaller wins, while waiting for the big payoff at the end.

    Some things will happen along the road to success which is beyond your control. It’s important that you recognize this and keep from blaming yourself. In all lives, a little rain must fall. Be prepared in every way you can and press onward to your goals.

    Categories: Self Doubt, self-doubt Tags: Tags:

    Entrepreneurs Won’t Get Validated By Anyone But Themselves

    Validation is important to your self-esteem and can help lift you to new heights. Without it, self doubt sets in and you begin to lose belief in your ability to meet your goals. A child hopefully receives validation from his or her parents.

    Positive reinforcement nudges the child to reach higher and try new things. Online entrepreneurs, however, usually have to validate themselves to feel good about themselves and what they’ve already accomplished.

    The reason could be that not many people know how Internet marketing works and how much an entrepreneur has to plan and prepare to get the results he or she wants. There are ways to get what you need when it comes to validating your efforts.

    Sometimes praise and gratitude come to you unexpectedly, but there are ways you can celebrate yourself and what you’ve accomplished. A gratitude journal can help you recognize all of the positive things that happened in your day or week.

    Make notes of decisions or accomplishments you’re proud of or those goals you’ve reached with your time and efforts. Even the simplest achievements can be a triumph you can celebrate.

    Avoid judging yourself harshly. Those are negative thoughts you don’t need and can affect your emotions and decision-making. Find the positive in what you’re accomplishing and don’t let anyone else have a part in judging you too harshly.

    Ask yourself what you need right this moment to help you feel healthier, more motivated or energetic to reach and surpass the goals you’ve set for yourself. Try to provide what you need rather than rejecting or depriving yourself.

    If you feel down and depressed, your body may need exercise or the proper fuel for you to feel more energetic. When you ignore those feelings, it’s easy to become mired in negative thoughts and forget all of the good things that you’ve accomplished.

    Validating yourself reinforces self-confidence and boosts the knowledge that you can do or be anything you set your mind to. Remember that validating yourself isn’t a form of self absorption.

    It’s a way to renew your spirit of entrepreneurship and carry on to reach the success you long for. You’ll gain strength and be better able to calm the negative and debilitating thoughts when you find ways to reassure yourself that you’re worthy of the success you seek and extremely able to find the path to reach it.

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    Finding the Right Balance Between Desensitizing Yourself and Taking It Too Personally

    Criticism is sometimes difficult to manage. Constructive criticism, however well delivered, can hurt as much as the intentionally cruel criticism, but if you view both types the right way, it can be very helpful to you in your business ventures.

    Some people seem to let criticism roll off their backs. Others lash out when they’re criticized and may hurt what they’re ultimately trying to accomplish. The best way to view criticism is with a balance between desensitizing yourself too much so you’re unfeeling – and taking it too personally that it discourages you and sabotages your efforts.

    Online criticism can be especially cruel because it isn’t done face to face. You don’t have to deal with the reaction of the other person, so you feel freer to criticize with harsher words.

    A person may be in a bad mood when he criticizes your efforts and take it out on you undeservingly. Your first reaction might be to lash out at the person with some harsh criticism of your own.

    The best way to fight that first reaction and keep yourself from reacting in a way you’ll regret is to take a minute to give it some thought. Take a deep breath, step back and take no reaction at all until a later time when you’ve cooled down and are thinking more clearly.

    Fight the negatives with positives. If someone has criticized you in a way that is rude and unjustified, finding a kernel of honest feedback in the criticism can turn it around so that both you and the person who criticized can learn from it.

    Criticism can provide you with a unique opportunity to improve – and to show others that you have a unique and positive way of looking at and measuring feedback. When you thank others (especially those who criticize harshly) for their feedback, it will likely surprise them.

    Your attitude may turn them around in their thinking and win them over to become fans. Even if the person doesn’t react positively to your own positive attitude, you’ll feel better about yourself.

    Learning from the criticism you receive can make your business thrive. You may only learn a small bit of truth from the criticism, but it may spur you on to make a greater effort in your online endeavors.

    Never let the words of others result in a heap of self doubt. Take their $0.02 and apply it wherever you feel it’s worthy and then discard the rest. Stay above the fray and accept criticism with grace and diplomacy rather than giving in to your first reaction.

    Categories: Mindset

    Credibility in your Business

    Credibility is key for getting your customers to know, like and trust you.  Credibility can not be created by you as only others can label you as credible.  Your business has to earn its credibility in other’s eyes. 

    How?

    According to the book Credibility by  Kouzes and Posner   there are four factors which make leaders credible.

    For the majority of people in their extensive survey of what makes a leader:

    A leader is honest.

    A leader is forward-thinking. 

    A leader is competent 

    A leader is inspiring.

    Credibility is the foundation of leadership.  

     


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